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Do You Shape Up For Sex?

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Do You Shape Up For Sex?

Nathan Hopkins: Hey guys, this is Nathan Hopkins from 3XMethod. Joining me today is Shelley McMurtry. She’s an attraction and dating coach. Some of you watching may already be familiar with her. If not, Shelley is very bright and offers a lot of insight.

I’m very grateful that she was willing to join me today. We’re actually here at her and John’s property. You can see John in the background on a horse. He might come to the screen in a second here. We’ve got a lot going on, so this is a pretty neat setup.

Shelley and I had a conversation recently about some of the things that guys often wonder are out of their control, in regards to women being attracted to them. We were talking about that, and it motivated me to go out and do a little bit of research. Specifically, I found some stuff that’s pretty interesting.

There was a scientist out of Poland that did some research on women. What he found is that what we would consider the more sexy, curvaceous women are more attracted to guys that are more muscular and have the appearance of being able to protect, provide and literally spawn strong children, which is a little bit of a weird thing to say.

The reason why is they have a higher level of estrogen which creates that maternal urge. That’s one of the ones I found. Another one I came across was some research that was done out of UCLA. What they did was they took 141 women and showed them silhouettes of guys, everything from really brawny, muscle-bound hulks to the more slender kind of stick guy.

Typically, according to these particular researchers, what the research that has been done to this point has showed is that women tend to look more at whether the guys are accessible, if they’re going to be able to provide in that sense, if they’re confident. They also found that they like guys who showed commitment, behavior that was consistent with being willing to commit to a relationship.

Back to the research they did where they showed the women these six silhouettes of guys, what he found was that women weren’t necessarily attracted to the guys that were the muscle-bound hulks. They saw that those guys were untrustworthy; they were aggressive and overly dominant. They didn’t see them as being willing to commit. They didn’t like the far end of the spectrum, either, where the guys were very slender or overly skinny.

They were attracted to the guy that kind of fell in the middle, which is interesting. In life, everyone seems to gravitate to extremes. A lot of times the truth kind of falls right there in the middle. What he found was that women are more attracted to guys who are noticeably toned, guys who were actually taking care of their bodies, but not like guys with six-packs or guys who are huge hulks.

It was the guys that take care of their bodies. They’re toned and they have the look of being able to protect and provide. Interesting enough, they found that women were interested in guys that displayed behavior and characteristics consistent with wanting to commit to a relationship.

I found all of those things very interesting, and I was sharing it with Shelley. I just want to hear what you think of that, Shelley.

Shelley McMurtry: I agree with that very much, and it’s something that I’ve thought about quite often. I was very interested to see this study because I know quite a few women—as a matter of fact, I have a good female friend who does not like men who are overly muscular. She jokingly refers to them as puffy boys.

She really likes the man who is toned but not with bulging muscles. She looks at them as threatening and dangerous. It just turns her off. I think there is a lot of truth to that. I think that what you said about how a lot of people take things to the extreme when it comes to fitness, attraction, dating, sex, and everything, somewhere in the middle is usually best.

You don’t want to bomb at something, you don’t want to totally put certain things on the back burner and never work on them, but at the same time overdoing something can oftentimes be overkill when it comes fitness, attraction, dating, and what we’re talking about here. I think the happy medium is good, and it’s easy to find. I tell my readers a lot that it’s not about being perfect.

A lot of men get very intimidated when it comes to attraction, dating, and fitness because they think, “I have to be confident, I have to be physically fit, I have to have a perfect car, and I have to dress perfectly.” They get so wrapped up in that. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being perfect enough, and that’s actually not that close to perfect. We’re all human. Women are human too, they make mistakes too, and they’re not perfect. It’s not about being perfect.

That’s what I really like about what you teach, and why I agree with the studies from what I’ve seen through my own eyes, my own experiences, and being a woman myself. What you say and what you teach holds merit because it’s simple, yet highly effective, and it’s not about making the man some super creature. It’s about making a man a better man.

Nathan: She’s right, you don’t have to be in the gym five days a week. You wouldn’t even have to do that three times a week. To get in there and get the most effective workouts doesn’t take long at all. If you’ve looked at my stuff, you know that that’s what I teach and what Shelley’s talking about. There are a lot of other things in play that are a benefit to working out.

You’re releasing endorphins into your body, and you’re actually increasing your levels of testosterone. For guys, when your body is out of sync, that’s one of the first signs that things are out of sync elsewhere as well. The way you look, the way you present yourself, the way you take care of your body is really an indicator of what’s going on internally as well. There are arguments out there that women pick up on that.

Shelley:  Yeah, I agree with that. If you hit the gym or just do it in your house or just do anything physical that you can do, it automatically gives a person more energy, makes them feel better about themselves.

In the first week of doing it, you might not see that much of a difference physically, but if you at least get yourself to where you feel better about yourself and you know you’re headed in a positive direction, I think that gives men such a boost. Their confidence level skyrockets.

They automatically become a more attractive character from day one when they start a good fitness routine. Once they do that, it’s all positive from there.

Nathan: As guys, we’re wired to be more physical. That’s just the way guys are. It’s something to consider. Going back to what women are looking for, they’re looking for guys that get the whole picture, that are the complete package.

The complete package, as Shelley said, doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be a guy who is taking care of his body, has his life in order, he’s balanced, and he’s a confident guy who knows who he is and what he’s doing. That’s really all that matters.

I think that about covers what we wanted to talk about and share with you guys today. Shelley, thank you for allowing me to come out and talk with you. Everyone, thank you for joining us. If you’d like to learn more about Shelley McMurtry and what she’s doing if you’re not currently following her and what she teaches in regard to helping guys with attraction and dating, I’ll have a link below this video for you to click on.

Let me just say this: this isn’t just for guys that are single. I’m actually a married man, and I continually learn how it is to stay attractive, because you’d be surprised how many people become unattractive once they get into a relationship.

Shelley: I have a lot of married men on my list.

Nathan: Just keep that in mind. If you’re married or you’re in a relationship, don’t think that these kinds of things aren’t for you. This is Nathan Hopkins from 3XMethod. Thank you.